I feel incredibly dumb.
Used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But when they’re mixed, they turn you into a dumbass
and fuck it!
Found out last night that for months, angry customers have been tweeting at my fake parody airline account, United Airlanes, to bitch about their experiences with United Airlines.
God has given me a great, beautiful funnel through which angry people flow in the worst possible mood.